The Mafia Takes Madison
by MGFF
Summary: Led by Kari, the Mafia enjoy a fun filled, wild romp through the capital of Wisconsin. A giggle inducing fic about the incredible awesomeness that would ensue if the Mafia met IRL.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So, rough draft of part one to 'The Mafia Takes Madison" which is basically where I treat you all to a few days in lovely Madison Wisconsin... I'm no where near as good as Erin and Clare (however I do believe myself more realistic and far less scarring -heart- you Clare)

**The Mafia Takes Madison**

_**Chapter One**_

The Black Hawk coach bus slowly rolled to a stop on Madison's State street parking along the left side curb before a trendy looking shop called Atticus, that looked like it would attract a lot of extremely tanned women who were trying to appear younger then they actually were. To the right of the bus was the State Building in all it's shining white hugeness, it's lawn teeming with students on field trips with their elementary social studies classes, and a few college kids reading or relaxing away their down time. The doors to the bus opened with the sound of whooshing air and from the vehicle came a rather loud shout which raised heads and eyebrows in the general direction of the bus.

"MOVE IT ALL OF YOU BETCHES I GOTTA PEE SO MUCH IT'D RIVAL AUSTIN POWERS!" screeched a voice as a group of extremely attractive young people clambered out onto the street. The individual with the volume and requirement for the facilities continued. "And I'm SO not using that dinky little thing on the bus after what the bus driver did in there." The portly fellow in the Packers baseball hat blushed as the last of the group filed out of the bus, and he closed the doors before driving to find a permit able parking space.

"Lenni, would you please quite down?" asked Kari, the last person to get off the bus. "There's a bathroom you can use right on the corner in that deli." She'd no sooner then pointed to the red building shaped to the curve of the street with signs advertising Leininkugals and a variety of deep fried foods and Lenni was off like a bullet. She was followed by several other Purple Mafia members with full bladders who had skirted the lavatory on the recently departed Black Hawk. Kitty and Erin had taken out their cameras and were snapping pictures of the capital building.

"Is it true that they had to make the gold statue on top shorter so that the building's official height wasn't taller then the white house?" asked Kitty turning her camera and stepping back, then to the right as to attain a different perspective.

"Uh... sure... I guess..." Kari trailed off. Beth was the first one back from the potty break. She'd once said that somebody told her she 'peed like a man', time frame wise though, not method wise. When she saw the cameras were out she began to rummage through her bag.

"Picture time!" she said, and then began to scrunch herself in between Seth and Ari. "Smile luvz!" She then made a peace sign and the camera clicked. The digital screen showed the three of their faces fully in the frame, along with Kitty's jacket, which had somehow ended up in Seth's possession.

"I wish Lenni and Bekki would hurry up!" Clare said. "We totally need a TS4 picture!"

"Actually we need a total group picture also," Erin corrected the group's personal Shippy Queen. She then snapped a random photo of Clare who was beginning to speak again. The flash robbed Clare of her words and Erin snickered at the seemingly slack jawed image on the review screen. "I'm so tagging that on Facebook." Ari leaned over to look at it and laughed.

"Make a flair out of it," suggested Seth, remembering the uber strange SethXAubrey and ErinxKitty fic Clare had written.

"Will do," Erin said with an eyebrow wiggle and a mischievous grin, causing Clare to grimace.

"Delete it! ...NOWZORZ!" Clare said, stamping her foot as Erin held her camera out of reach.

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought only girls on TV did that," Kat giggled, quoting Jacob Black. There was a few laughs and come collective eyerolls.

"You whores just gonna stand around?" came Bekki's voice, causing everyone to turn and see the rest of the crew coming together. Lenni put her hands in front of her face when she saw the cameras and Helen walked beside her, holding a purple sweater.

"Lenni!" squealed Clare. "TS4 picture! Now!" and she yanked both Lenni and Bekki towards her and Erin. Kitty snapped the photo first with her camera, then with Erin's. Five other flashes went off from the rest of the group.

"This isn't ANTM people!" Lenni complained. Just as she said that, Kari yanked a nearby Madison Uni guy from the side walk, gave him her camera, and everyone squished together for Da Family picture with the capital building creating the perfect background.

"Alright... um... onward down state street? Or to tour the capital building?" Kari asked as she retrieved her Kodak from the Uni dude. Seeing as how none of her loverly friends had been to Madison, she was playing event coordinator and tour guide. "Building first I think..." And with that said, they crossed the street in one sexy mass of young awesomeness.

**end.

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AN: So... um if you have any touch up suggestions or anything... throw them at me now. I just feel really weird putting words into your mouths... How do you do it Clare and Erin?


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This chapter sucks. Seriously... I was bored and uninspired... but I wanted to give y'all something since I miss you so much.

**The Mafia Takes Madison**

_**Chapter Two**_

"Hell yes! A revolving door!" this phrase followed by a collaborative squee was what shocked many Madison U students sitting on the capital building's lawn, along with several school teachers chaperoning Elsworth Elementary students to gape at the Purple Mafia. The third graders were set to chortling at the shouting of 'hell'. Bekki grabbed Lenni's wrist and Kat jumped up and down, the whole group moved towards the glass and metal spinning awesomeness. Kat managed to cram herself through with Seth and Kitty, while Erin, Beth, Helen, and Clare took another one of the doors quarter sections. Kari passed a camera to a still slack jawed Elsworth teacher and crammed into the remaining section with Bekki, Lenni and Ari.

"This is just like the telephone booth thing from ANTM cycle five!" declared the shippy queen.

"Except we all have clothes on," Seth said.

"We could change that," an eyebrow wiggling Ari teased, gaining a collective BOL.

"At the risk of being heavily fined and possibly put in a jail cell, I think not," Kitty stated matter of factly before saying, "Kat, you're standing on my foot."

"Heh... sorry Kitty. Tis cramped." The flash went off and the Mafia rotated into the building. Seth and Kitty both tripped over Kat, resulting in Kari accidentally kicking Seth in the shin.

"Mass Bella moment!" Kat trilled as Erin snapped a picture while laughing.

"Figures what with all the klutzes we have," Bekki said, helping Kitty up off the marble floor, who in turn helped Seth while Kari apologized for any possible bruising of his leg.

"Excuse me, are you here for a tour?" asked a sharp dressed young man with a clip board.

"Yup!" said Kari with a cheery smile, just as the Elsworth group poured into the building. "How about we trail behind with this tour?" she asked taking her camera back from the teacher with a thank you.

"We're looking around an old building... with a bunch of ankle biters?" Bekki questioned skeptically. "How perfect."

"Alright then." The guide turned to the mass of the group and smiled. "Welcome to Madison! Are you all having fun?" The children, and Kat responded with a big cheery 'YES' while the rest of the Mafia laughed. "Now, you'll see that we are standing beneath the dome of the building. See the painting on the ceiling? It's called 'Resources of Wisconsin' and was painted up there by Edwin Blashfield." While the guide rambled on Kari took out a cats cradle and started playing it with one of the third graders and Seth. When the time came for questions, all the third graders became sheepish. Only the teachers and Kitty asked any questions.

The 'ankle biters' and their crowd moved forward as the tour guide rambled on about there being fossils in the marble and granite walls and floors, and the golden gilded bits of the halls they walked through. After touring one of the court rooms and discussing the building, burning, and rebuilding of the capitol some kid screamed bloody murder after seeing a spider. This caused the tour to be disrupted because several of the small girls ran away from the group. To top it off, Clare received a call on her cell phone and upon answering it she squeed with delight for some reason and said they had to go outside for a surprise.

"Um... well, gift shop anyone?" asked the tour guide. The only things the gift shop sold were little plaster models of the state building and post cards.

"Sorry that was so lame... it seems more fun when you're in 4th grade," Kari apologized to her friends as they spun out of the capitol through the revolving door.

"Twas ok Karikinz," said Seth, scruffling her hair.

"Some of it was interesting," Kitty added.

"I found a fossil when I zoned out during the tour," Desi said.

"Hey guys!" called a voice from the right along with the sound of a skateboard. The mass of sexy turned and saw two more of their members who were slightly late to gather. Aubrey rolled smoothly over to meet them, and Patrick skipped along behind. "My 'rents just dropped me off."

"I caught a bus here from the air port... the buses here are ghostly quiet... you could step out in front of one and get hit..." Pat said, making a shifty eyed face, implying that she'd almost done as such.

"MONGOOSE!" Seth shouted and he proceeded to hug Aubrey. "I'm so happy you could come! Now I'm not the only man!" Every one laughed and Aubrey looked slightly stunned by the immediate man hug, but still in good spirits.

"Awwww! Group huggle!" declared Helen and on cue the group huggle commenced causing passer-bys to go 'awwwww'.

"Glad you made it, Pat. You too Aubz," Erin said.

"Awwww. Erin and Aubz!" said Clare. "Wouldn't it be sweet if this turned out like-"

"No. Not happening," Erin interrupted very bluntly.

"I'm starving!" Lenni said. "When are we eating?"

"Well, state street is ahead of us... we can go now." Kari pointed into the distance.

"Here's a map, it has all the restaurants." Kitty held out a brochure. "We could eat Afgan, Greek, Italian, Japanese, Mediterranean, Vietnamese, or at a deli. Or... some of you could get a burger if you wanted."

"Well... how about Noodles and Co.? They're tasty. They have any pasta or noodle dish you can think of and salads," suggested Kari. "We could split up... but I don't really want us to."

"I'm fine with noodles," Bekki said.

"If it's edible, count me in," Desi added.

"Let's just go already before my stomach eats itself." Lenni grabbed the map and rushed ahead of the Mafia, leaving them no choice but to follow.

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AN: The next chapter will be loads betterer, because I'm gonna drag you all to this awesome hard core hippie like shop where they have too many Buddah statues, lots of yoga stuff, bangles, sandals, Beatles/John Lennon, Obama, and lots of other awesome stuffs. They honestly have cardboard cut outs of Obama there. And 'Reading is Sexy' buttons. Not to mention a fun surprise that Clare is gonna want to fuel her M fanfics. Which I'm only adding because I'm trying to steer away from the shippage that the other fics have, and make it more realistic.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Um... YAY... tis... here! and stuff

**The Mafia Takes Madison**

_**Chapter Three: Ninja Buses and Noodles**_

"Shit Pat you were right, they're fuckin' ninja buses!" said Bekki after narrowly skirting one of Madison's ghostly mass transport vehicles stepping from the crosswalk to the curb.

"You're too sexy to be hit by a bus!" Clare exclaimed. "Jerk," she and Erin said in unison.

"He was fast too. Didn't even wait for the green light," Kat added referring to the bus's driver. Beth and Helen nodded.

"That's what she said," Ari said, nudging Bekki.

"You're alright though right Bekki?" Kitty asked looking over her shoulder. As she did she stumbled a bit, thankfully into Seth who caught her and miraculously didn't cause them to both fall.

"You're so sweet," he said, steadying her and kissing her on the cheek. There was a collective 'aww' from the Mafia and three old ladies sitting on a bench having coffee and muffins outside a cafe'.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Bekki looked in the direction the bus had driven. "Bastard." They walked following Lenni, who was playing the part of Gandalf on their quest for food, leading them down the street.

"If I remember correctly, it's on a corner, the end of this block," Kari said skipping up by Lenni. Erin peered over Lenni's shoulder.

"Lenni, um... we're on the wrong side of the street." Erin pointed to the map. "Should have let Kitty or Kari lead us."

"There it is!" Helen said, pointing to a sign hanging on the opposite side of the street. The group of awesome sexy win continued towards the red building and it's sign that declared yummyness. At the cross walk there wasn't a crowd like there usually was. Aubrey put his board down and glided across the street and did some sort of trick on the other side. The Mafia applauded.

"Skillz Aubz. You got them," Erin said, and Clare gave her a look, to which she rolled her eye.

"That was nothing," Aubrey said, knowing it wouldn't take much to impress this lot, but still feeling quite awesome. The Mafia is sincere with their compliments even if they are easily amused.

"We're HEEEeeerrrrEEEEeee," trilled Desi. Lenni yanked open the door and held it as her friends walked inside the restaurant.

"HOLY COW," said the young cashier at Noodles and Co. as he thought to himself_ 'Look at all those adorable and sexy girls. Lucky... effin' day.'_ He proceeded to adjust his name tag which read Evan, and Noodles and Co. hat. He put on his best smile for the crowd of beauty before him.

"I know. Lots of customers," said Mindy, his co-cashier. "And look at them, they're all so good looking." Mindy called for an extra person to come to work. Then the pair gazed upon the Mafia and intoned "Welcome to Noodles and Company! How may we help you?"

"Oh yes we're fabulous," said Ari, knowingly. She also tossed a wink Evan's way. He hadn't been hit with an ugly stick ever in his life that was sure.

Kari walked to the counter. "We're all paying together. Via Mr. Tblz." She pulled out a personalized Visa with a picture of Mr. Tblz declaring 'Tblz 4 lyfe' and 'Tblz 4 Prez Yo'. This would be dubbed the strangest credit card either Mindy of Evan would see in their entire lives. "I'll have the mac and cheese, and this bottle of Izze. And a water." She pulled a carbonated Blackberry juice and an Aquafina from the cooler. Noodles and Co. was her forte by now order placing wise.

Beth was next in line. "I want an iced tea and I'm feelin like spaghetti. Oh!" She glanced over at Kari. "Do you have a poison tester in the house to make sure that it doesn't become toxic to me?" Kari laughed, and Evan understood that it had to be some sort of inside joke so he shook his head.

"Love ya' Beth," Kari said.

She turned and began to help Helen, Erin, and Kat push the tables together and re-arrange the chairs so they could all sit as one. One by one the Mafia placed orders and plunked down at the 'table' which was a conglomeration of three seater circular tables shaped in an almost 'o'.

"I feel like King Arthur!" said Seth putting his arm around Kitty. "You are all my nights. Kitty is like Gwen... only Kittyish."

"And not a ho," Erin added sipping her Dr. Pepper.

"I'll be Lancelot," Ari offered, giving Kitty a 'rawr rawr' look. Clare burst into giggles.

"I'll have to make a fic of that," she said. There were several groans around the table, which were interrupted by the first wave of orders ready. Once everyone was served Mindy asked if there was anything else they needed. "I need a Parmesan cheese shaker."

"Clare, there's one right in front of you," Pat said.

"Psh. That's not enough for Clare," Helen explained. "She COATS her spaghetti in it." That said, Mindy grabbed four more full Parmesan shakers and set them near Clare before leaving to help more customers who were, thank god, either alone or in a small cluster of friends rather then a large group (of awesome).

The Mafia set to chattering and eating their delicious meals. Kitty had been on the fence about two of the house dishes so Seth ordered the one she hadn't picked so that she would be able to try it. The sweet nature of the pair sharing a vegetarian cannelloni caused even non-Mafia members in the restaurant to internally say 'awwww... -heart-'. Kat had already drank two glasses of Pepsi, but hadn't finished her cheese ravioli. Every so often somebody would sample somebody elses dish, but when Bekki tried to take a taste of Lenni's order she claimed it would give Bekki and her entire family Herpes if she tried. Clare laughed so hard she spilled her lemonade into the remnants of Pat's salad. The lunch despite a few messes was still very enjoyable. After they finished eating, Evan and Mindy helped cart away the dishes while the Mafia put the tables back.

"Alright..." said Kari tucking the Tblz Visa back into a teal giraffe printed wallet. "Now... shopping? I know exactly where I want to take you all. You'll absolutely LOVE the store." Erin placed a tip which Kitty had calculated and everyone pitched in to cover, on the counter for their servers and they bounced back out onto state street ready for whatever plans Kari had for them.

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AN: Can you BELIEVE that "Gandalf" wasn't in the spellcheck dictionary but Aquafresh is!? I had to add it. psh... anyways... there's that... erm... ok... I always feel like I'm forgetting something when I finish these things! PS. I did not double check the soda companies... so if there are both Pepsi and Coca Cola manufactured drinks... y'all just have to deal with it.


End file.
